Pursuing Zen Under Siege

I’ve been thinking a lot about life lately something about myself. For those who know me in real life, it’s probably safe to say that I can get a little overly excited about something most people would consider mundane. It’s not because I was deprived as a child or anything; but I believe that each day should be lived to the fullest and that every moment we have is something to be excited about.

The downside, however, is that while I am able to keep my emotions and mental state very positive for a majority of the time, one wrong misstep can throw me into a weird limbo where I kind of just fall off the deep end. And whether I like it or not, this is clearly reflected in my go. So in order to try and train my ability to be calm and collected, I decided to do the one thing I generally advise against: playing blitz games.

With the time pressure and the fact that I tend to take my losses in blitz pretty hard (due to the fact that I often lose due to a stupid mistake as opposed to actually being weaker than my opponent), this approach is essentially the equivalent of trying to achieve enlightenment in the middle of a war zone. It’s not that it’s impossible, but it’s pretty risky and could be dangerous for my go. However, I know that trying to take any other route will probably delay my ability to overcome this hurdle.

See you on the other side.