Must Tenuki For a While

As some of you might have noticed, I’ve been pretty MIA for a while. One of the major events that hap­pened last week was I moved out to a new apart­ment. And for those who know what it’s like to move, you know how much of a mon­stros­ity that can be when it comes to sort­ing, pack­ing, and cleaning.

The move came at a rather funny time in my life as it hap­pened to be a per­fect rep­re­sen­ta­tion of how I’ve been decon­struct­ing my own life lately as well. Reassess­ing what I’m try­ing to do and where all my time and energy is being placed. On one hand, every­thing is a gigan­tic mess and it’s dif­fi­cult at times to fig­ure out what I’m try­ing to do in all this chaos. How­ever, I have con­fi­dence that it will work out for the best.

As I’m reassess­ing my strat­egy for my life, it should come as no sur­prise that I’ve had to reassess how I’ve been approach­ing my study of go as well. I’ll be hon­est in that I have not been happy at all with my numer­ous train­ing reg­i­mens and have felt like I’ve lost focus. In fact, my Yun­guseng match which was resched­uled for today was the first time I even looked at any­thing go related at all in the past few days. It was quite a weird feeling.

So while I would love to con­tinue the momen­tum I had going with the blog, I’m putting a hold on all the weekly arti­cles and game com­men­tary in order to give myself time to really sort through things. So I hope you’ll for­give me as I must tenuki for a while as I try and fig­ure out what my whole board strat­egy for my life is.

I’ll be sure to drop in and update you on my thoughts and progress, so no need to worry that I’m sim­ply drop­ping off the face of the planet. I’ll still be around.

Hope that all is well with everyone.

  • Todd Bowlby

    Thanks for let­ting every­one know you’re okay.

    Reg­u­lar blog­ging isn’t as impor­tant as heart­felt blog­ging. At least I hope so, because I’m not very good at being a reg­u­lar blog­ger! For a long time, how­ever, you have man­aged to make your posts both heart­felt and on a reg­u­lar basis at the same time. Write again when you feel it in your heart; until then, I’ll miss your posts, and I’ll see you some­time on a server when we’re both hav­ing fun with Go.

    • Moboy78

      What this guy said =)

      • Ben

        Thanks man! I don’t plan on being gone for long, but glad to hear the support!

    • Ben

      Thanks for your words of sup­port Todd. It means a lot to know that my time up to this point has been spent well and appre­ci­ated by peo­ple like you.

      I absolutely agree with you when it comes to heart­felt blog­ging vs reg­u­lar blog­ging. After all, stilted writ­ing is no fun for the writer or the reader!

      I cer­tainly hope that we can see each other online in the near future. Until then, best of luck with your games and still free to reach out to me if you need anything!

  • Jeromie Rand

    Thank you for all that you’ve already given the go com­mu­nity through your blog­ging. I’ve learned a lot through your insight­ful analy­sis, and I’ve really enjoyed being invited into your jour­ney to get stronger at go. I hope you’re able to return to reg­u­larly blog­ging about go soon, but even if that par­tic­u­lar adven­ture does not lie along your path know that I (and many) are thank­ful for what you’ve already given us. In the mean­time, I hope you find peace on the board and in your life.

    • Ben

      Thank you Jeromie! It means a lot to see such sup­port as I take this time to really inspect what I’ve been doing in my life. It cer­tainly is no reflec­tion on go, but in fact even inspired from all that I’ve learned from go in the need to main­tain bal­ance and keep watch of the whole board at all times.

      I hope that you find peace on the board and on life as well. And since this isn’t a break caused by burnout, I cer­tainly hope to be back sooner rather than later! Till then!

  • MolokaiCow­boy

    I came late to the game here, but have derived much learn­ing from Ben­GoZen, espe­cially the Mon­day Med­i­ta­tion. I’ll miss all of that but think you are mak­ing a sound deci­sion, Ben. Best to you and thanks much!

    • Ben

      Thanks Molokai! When I make my debut back onto the blog­ging scene, I cer­tainly hope to have a more effi­cient sys­tem in place that will allow for con­sis­tent blog­ging at a lower energy and time cost. After all, it’s clear that there is value in what I do here; so I’ll be back before you know it!

      • MolokaiCow­boy

        There is a chess story about a famous grand­mas­ter, Akiba Rubin­stein. It is said as a teen he was a decent ama­teur but no more. He dis­ap­peared from the chess scene for a few months — and came back a grandmaster!

        So, Ben. I expect you to come back to Ben­GoZen at least 3d. :)

        Seri­ously for what­ever rea­sons I do think giv­ing your sub­con­scious mind time to digest what you’ve learned is the best thing pos­si­ble at this time.

        • Ben

          Hahaha. If I’m even play­ing con­sis­tently at a high SDK level, I think I’ll be happy. But no mat­ter, I think you are right that this will give me much needed time to let my sub­con­scious mind recover and digest what I’ve been learn­ing since my last break. Though if you ever need any­thing, still feel free to reach out!