(;GM[1]FF[4]CA[UTF-8]AP[CGoban:3]ST[2]
RU[Japanese]SZ[19]HA[2]KM[0.50]
GN[Monday Go Meditation: Game 70]PW[BenGoZen]PB[Black]WR[1k]BR[3k]DT[2014-10-25]EV[NOVA Pumpkin Classic]PC[Virginia]AB[pd][dp]C[For this week's go meditation, I am featuring my game from the Pumpkin Classic that I had the pleasure of visiting for a round. This game was an interesting challenge for me since it had been a while since I had played a game in person, let alone play a handicap game. As this is a handicap game where I play White, I hope that my thoughts throughout the game will help you understand better why players sometimes make the moves they do in handicap games. Enjoy!]RE[B+Resign]PL[W]
;W[pp]C[In handicap games, I generally like to play the star point when I have a chance since it is (1) the most flexible in terms of direction and (2) allows me flexibility for targeting for an influence strategy if that is what my opponent chooses to give me.]
;B[cd]C[Of course, without a doubt, Black takes the third corner. Now the question is, where to begin?]
;W[ed]LB[qf:A][fq:B]C[I decide to approach the corner immediately, but I feel that approach moves at A (R14) or B (F3) would be much better suited in this situation. The reason is because 3-4 joseki can often get complicated, and without knowing what my opponent wants to do with her other two corners, it's hard to respond properly or take advantage of a mistake. 

In addition, the other thing to keep in mind is that while this is a handicap game, it is only two stones. No need to try anything crazy at the beginning yet.]
;B[gc]C[When Black pincers me here, I grimace as I am rather unfamiliar with this joseki even though I've had it played against me numerous times. Sigh. I really need to learn this one.]
;W[cc]LB[fe:A]C[I try my best to remember the most common one: which I believe is this attachment. (I used to play the old diagonal at A (F15)).]
;B[bc]C[Black hanes to prevent me from settling in the corner.]
;W[dc]C[I pull back to keep my stones connected.]
;B[be]LB[bb:A][ef:B]C[And then Black plays the very solid tiger's mouth. At this point, I debate between A (B18) and B (E14) but thought it might be too slow.]
;W[jc]LB[nc:A]C[So I went for the immediate counter-pincer with the possible extension/approach move at A (O17) in mind.]
;B[ge]C[Black's simple one point jump here shows that the pincer was a bit of an overplay though since White now has two weak groups. Sigh.]
;W[ef]LB[bb:A]C[While I could have tried to settle with A (B18), I felt that getting sealed in would be a worse fate. Thus, I opted for jumping into the center.]
;B[cg]C[Black response and expands her base on the left.]
;W[nc]C[This was a relief for me since that meant that I could get the extension I wanted.]
;B[nd]C[To my surprise, Black starts the attach joseki.]
;W[md]C[I hane to prevent Black from pressing me down.]
;B[ne]C[Black extends to prevent the atari and strengthen her connection at the same time.]
;W[oc]LB[mc:A]C[I extend now to take the shape point and strengthen my stones while simultaneously protecting against the cutting point at A (N17).]
;B[pc]C[Black blocks the corner.]
;W[fq]LB[od:A][qf:B]C[The joseki normally has White extend at A (K17), but since I already had a stone there, I decided to tenuki and approach the lower left instead of trying to push and cut at A (P16). However, on second glance, I think that I should have considered playing a move at like B (R14) instead.]
;B[fp]C[Black plays the attach joseki again! At this point, I can see that Black is playing very territorially (which was a bit irritating to me as White since I didn't have enough experience to try and exploit the strategy).]
;W[gp]C[While I disliked the idea for giving her another corner, I felt I would just have to make do and try and build some moyo.]
;B[fo]C[Black extends as in the joseki.]
;W[eq]C[I take the shape point once again.]
;B[dq]C[Black blocks the corner.]
;W[jq]LB[pj:A]C[And now I extend and aim to possible take an extension around A (Q10) later on.]
;B[cn]LB[dn:A]C[Black then finishes the joseki with the knight's move (though I personally have had more exposure to the one point jump at A (D6) instead).]
;W[pj]C[True to my word, I embark to make my moyo now.]
;B[qq]C[Black invades the 3-3 now as expected.]
;W[pq]C[Since I had the most potential for territory on the bottom, I decided to block here.]
;B[qp]LB[qo:A]C[When Black extends here, the normal 3-3 invasion joseki continues at A (R5).]
;W[qn]C[However, I had no intention of giving her sente and chose this variation instead.]
;B[qo]C[Black pushes as expected.]
;W[po]C[So I block to continue gaining influence.]
;B[rn]C[Black hanes.]
;W[qm]C[I extend.]
;B[rm]C[And when Black extends once more, I decide to take sente now since my prospects on the right side are not large anyhow.]
;W[qf]C[I decide to try and take advantage of Black not finishing the joseki here.]
;B[qe]C[Black blocks the corner oncer again.]
;W[pf]C[So I stand up threatening to cut.]
;B[me]C[Black turns instead of connecting.]
;W[od]LB[ld:A]C[Even though I know the proper move is to respond at A (M16), I decide to cut immediately.]
;B[oe]C[Black extends and threatens to connect.]
;W[pe]TR[nd][me][ne][oe]C[So I cut as intended to try and create a weak group for Black (triangle), except there is one flaw in my plan.]
;B[mc]LB[nb:A]C[Black's cut here is sente since she has the ladder at A (O18). Whoops.]
;W[mb]C[So I have no choice but to respond since letting Black get the top would be too big.]
;B[ld]C[Black captures.]
;W[lc]C[So I atari to possibly play a ko since I'm getting desperate.]
;B[pb]LB[nb:A]C[Black extends threatening the capture with A (O18).]
;W[md]C[So I go ahead and take the ko now.]
;B[re]C[Black sees no reason to fight the ko and secure the corner.]
;W[rf]TR[rm]C[I decide to follow since I'm apparently trying to make something of the right side (even though I clearly abandoned the right side since Black has the S7 stnoe (triangle)). Very inconsistent to say the least. ]
;B[sf]C[Black makes the endgame hane here.]
;W[mc]C[So I decide to just end the ko.]
;B[ke]C[But Black's group is clearly not very weak as she strengthens her group with the tiger's mouth connection. In additon, now she has some influence as well which counters my moyo plan. *shakes head side to side*]
;W[lf]C[I peep to try and make her heavy while hopign to gain a large moyo in the center.]
;B[le]C[She connects.]
;W[ie]C[And then I jump out to try and cut her connection to make her weak.]
;B[id]C[Black attaches.]
;W[jd]C[I cut.]
;B[je]C[She cuts as well.]
;W[hd]C[And then I decide to capture the cutting stone. This does not turn out very well for me though.]
;B[ic]C[Black descends.]
;W[hc]C[And after reading a few moves, I decide that I got her stones. No problem.]
;B[ib]C[She can try to run, but they're mine.]
;W[hb]C[Block from connecting.]
;B[kc]C[Oh crap. Black's wedge here is very powerful because if White tries anything fancy, Black will have the snapback tesuji.]
;W[jb]C[So I had no choice but to capture the cutting stones as I had read out.]
;B[kb]TR[mb][lc][mc][nc][oc][md][od]C[But now my N18 stones (triangle) are cut off. NOOOOOO......]
;W[ia]C[But there's a tiny sliver of hope as I look carefully and capture the stones.]
;B[kd]C[Black has to defend the cutting point.]
;W[ka]C[I can now hane to threaten to connect.]
;B[la]C[Black has to try and block.]
;W[lb]C[I cut.]
;B[ja]C[And now at least I have a ko!]
;W[ep]LB[qd:A][qr:B]C[Unfortunately, I decide on this rather mundane ko threat that has no clear value if Black were to ignore me. Moves like A (R16) or B (R2) would at least have been worth something. Sigh.]
;B[ka]C[Black ignores me as expected. A huge blow to White since Black has a HUGE upper right section now.]
;W[eo]C[So I try to follow through on my ko threat, but I am seriously regretting my decision.]
;B[go]C[Black turns, which is rather slow.]
;W[fm]C[Since I am so behind, I felt I had to attack the heck out of this group and possibly kill it to catch up.]
;B[hp]C[Black ataris.]
;W[gq]C[I connect.]
;B[ho]LB[hm:A][jo:B]C[And when Black connects, I try and figure out the best way to attack her: (A (H7) vs. B (K5).]
;W[hm]C[I decide to try and drive her into my thickness in hopes of possibly killing her. To be honest though, this is rather risky since there's a lot of space for her to make life. A bit of an unreasonable plan, but I'm pretty desperate at this point after losing the top group.]
;B[jo]C[So she runs as expected.]
;W[hq]LB[en:A]C[I decide to connect my groups up (because I'm concerned of the cut at A (D6)) while preventing her from gaining a base at the bottom. In hindsight though, this is slow and does a poor job keeping pressure on Black.]
;B[lo]C[Black jumps again.]
;W[kn]C[I peep to try and make her heavy.]
;B[ko]C[Black connects.]
;W[lq]C[And then I continue jumping to keep Black floating.]
;B[im]C[Black attaches to make shape.]
;W[il]LB[hl:A]C[I hane to try and constrain Black's shape while knowing full well that a cut at A (H8) would be rather difficult to deal with.]
;B[jm]C[Black extends.]
;W[ip]C[I hane now to try and remove any potential eyes.]
;B[io]C[Black connects.]
;W[hl]C[Since the cut would be difficult to deal with now, I connect to strengthen my stones.]
;B[ll]C[Black plays the knight move for nice shape.]
;W[mm]TR[kn]C[So I try and threaten to save the L6 stone (triangle).]
;B[lm]C[Black blocks.]
;W[mn]C[And then I play one more forcing move that threatens to connect.]
;B[ln]C[Black blocks as expected.]
;W[jl]C[So I extend to keep Black's eye space to a minimum.]
;B[ql]C[To my surprised, Black now tries to damage the right side.]
;W[ml]C[But Black's group here is the key target and I cannot be distracted.]
;B[lk]C[Black extends to try and run.]
;W[li]C[So I cap her in order to be as severe as I possibly can.]
;B[mk]C[Black turns.]
;W[nk]C[I hane to continue restraining her movement.]
;B[nj]C[She hanes as well.]
;W[ok]LB[mj:A]C[So I extend to minimize the number of cutting points I have while threatening the cut at A (O10).]
;B[mi]C[Black makes the tiger mouth shape to protect the cutting point.]
;W[lj]C[So I descend to threaten the cut once again and destroy the shape.]
;B[mj]
;W[mf]C[I realize that at this point there is little hope for me now, so I play this extension in hopes that it will look like long range attack on the middle group.]
;B[ng]C[She seems to be going for it.]
;W[nh]C[So I cut in hopes of complicating things.]
;B[mh]C[She extends.]
;W[nf]TR[ja][ka][la][kb][kc][kd][ld][nd][je][ke][le][me][ne][oe]C[And I extend to cut her off from her other stones while hoping she doesn't see the fact that I'm trying to reduce the liberties of the M19 group (triangle) to hopefully turn the game around.]
;B[jf]C[DRATS. She saw it. Sigh. ]
;W[lh]C[I try in vain to keep her at one eye.]
;B[of]C[She threatens to connect.]
;W[mg]C[So I atari from this direction so keep her cut off.]
;B[og]C[She connect.]
;W[oh]C[So I extend to keep her group at one eye.]
;B[kj]TR[lf][mf][nf][mg][lh][li][lj]C[And with this hane, it's clear that my M10 stones (triangle) are awfully weak.]
;W[ji]C[I make a desperate attempt to run while attacking.]
;B[kg]TR[lf][mf][nf][mg]C[But with Black's diagonal here, my N14 stones (triangle) are captured and there is nothing left I can do. I resign here.])
